Anna Made Me Write This

Whenever I get wondering why Americans have developed such powerless and atrophied views about natural childbirth, I have only to look around me at the myriad media depictions of birth, and I see women being taught that birth is hopelessly painful and pointless.

Here's some examples:

Star Wars III:

Padme is certain that the birth would be fine but Anakin has "dreams" that she will die in childbirth. His fear actually propels his entire plot arc of falling to the dark side of the force in order to protect her from death in childbirth.

This is actually confusing to me. If their culture is soo freakin' advanced that they can make robot limbs and the like, wouldn't this fantasy also include bypassing danger from childbirth? I think the whole "medical science and knowledge will save the world" futuristic mythology is complete and utter crap anyway, but if you are going to postulate such bullshit, be consistent already George Lucas!

So, skipping forward, after Anakin goes postal and tries to choke Padme to death and she has now apparently lost all her gumption (former leader of an entire planet felled by one bad boyfriend...whatever!) and will to live, she is finally giving birth. It is not clear what the mechanics of said birth are, but it is unsurprisingly aseptic and involves a robot doing the delivery.

A Robot.

With a scoopy scoop hand.

Let me just say, this is totally dumb. Scoopy hands do not make robots good baby catchers. No woman in her right mind is gonna be like: "My new OB is so great! He has a scoopy hand which makes it so much easier scoop out my womb, like a quart of ice cream!" I think a robot OB delivery guy would be twice as likely to get kicked across the room unless they are heavily sedating laboring women in Lucas's scoopy OB world.

And either Padme is heavily sedated or she is just the worst mother on the planet because they specifically state that "nothing is wrong with her" but she has "lost her will to live" even as she pants and pitifully names her children: "Luke. Sigh." And then "Leia. Ssssiiigh." I mean, COME ON! Didn't we spend the last three entire episodes having Padme's kick ass determination shoved down our throat and then she takes one look at her children, names them Luke and Leia (in a world of Anakins and Padmes) after her favorite soap opera characters, and then drifts off to her death because she has no will to live? That's it???? Really?

Okay, so that birth scene disturbed me on several levels. But I am really really tired of the futuristic, science will save us all (with scoopy-handed robots) crappola! Unless you have no will to live. They can't save you from being a twit apparently.

Let's look at less futuristic but equally twit infested model from "reality TV":

Discovery's Birth Day:

I'll admit I have only seen this show about ten times because I become so disturbed and worked up that it makes me an unfit mother due to blind rage. I mean, TLC's A Baby Story shows and supports highly medicalized birth more often than it shows variations of natural birth, but look where they are filming: LA. It is probably statistically showing about the normal breakdown of what Americans look for in birth. And furthermore, the show's only agenda is to show different births. And it does. (But I can barely watch this show either.)

Back to Birth Day. I don't know what OB from hell is sleeping with the producers of this show but they have a clear agenda: To show how terrifying and dangerous birth is (all the time, mind you) and how the medical people save the day (every time, because they are Gods)! They take a low income or under-educated population and then they just run rampant over them. They either choose to show the rare complications (preeclampsia, true placenta previa) as everyday occurrences OR they iatrogenically (that means their own medicalized management created it) introduce complications which actually endanger the child and or mother and then perform a cesarean delivery to cover up their own error and blame it on the mom. "Oh dear, your pelvis was too small for this humongous eight pound baby. Blah dee blah." I have to stop talking about this now or I will be worthless for the rest of the day.

Anyway, this is what our population is being taught about birth everyday. We NEED the OB, and the scoopy robot guy to deliver our babies. I had a labor and delivery nurse ask me recently, knowing that I had my children at home without a midwife, how my husband managed to pull the baby out without proper training. She was amazed as I explained to her how the body has its own mechanism for doing that more safely and efficiently than a "helper" can. But what about shoulder dystocia, she wanted to know. Again with the amazement as I explained how rare true shoulder dytocia is when the mother is not lying prone or how easily it can be released by the mother squatting or a simple bit of suprapubic pressure. This was a labor and deliver nurse people! WTF!

There are lots more examples of crappy and misguided media portrayals of birth discussed *here if you would like to think about this some more. I've gotta stop before my head blows up.

Have a great day.

And just because this entry has me thinking: Shout out to my friend Kris. Send some happy labor vibes her way folks cuz' she is cooked! If your name is Kris, you can have that baby whenever you want now. Hugs!

*If the link isn't letting you in, you need to register as a user, which is quick and painless to read more. It's totally worth your time if you find this interesting and you haven't spent time at mothering.com already. Check it out. Be sure to check out the pregnancy boards and the cool chicks at the Unassisted Birth subforum.