Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Post

I know it's corny, but behold, a list of things I am thankful for this day;

1. The GIANT ROCK I hit with my van yesterday didn't hurt me or my passengers.

The GIANT ROCK, which ever so cunningly positioned itself in the left lane of highway 41 just as it runs beneath a narrow bit of underpass, leaped out and KERTHUMPED right under my right tire pattern in a distressingly kerthumpy way.

The GIANT ROCK then giggled menacingly as I pulled over (half a mile later by the time there was a good/safe place) to survey the damage. The damage, which appeared initially (foreshadowing for those of you looking for a little literary challenge) to be non-existent beyond the wild pitter-patter of my heart and the liters of adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Twenty miles later, when my van began making its unambiguous thumpy noises, signaling the dire sadness of my right rear tire, the rock was too far away to be consulted, but I am CERTAIN it was home making a big hatch mark on its wall of victims and chortling to its cronies how it bagged a silver minivan.

I am thankful that I have roadside assistance and that it only took about an hour to wait for them to arrive and untighten the lugnuts which had apparently been placed on my tires by Hercules.

And I am thankful that my rim was only bent (rather than...I dunno...exploded!) when the evil ROCK leaped in its path.

And I was grateful later when I spoke to my claims adjuster who assured me that the likely cost of repairs would not be quite as much as my $500 deductable, but very close. Huzzah! Okay, not really grateful for that part at all. Arrrgh.

2. I was thankful this week to bring the kids to see the lighting of the Lights of Life.

They got dressed up (kinda), sugared up (not MY fault) and ran around the Treehouse at Life singing and cavorting with Santa and some elves.

It's a pretty cool event and I got to make fun of the Student Ambassadors (elves) and see pretty lights and so on.

3. I am thankful for the rain which finally came last night and this morning (major drought here, remember?). Even though Sonny Perdue will likely think it was a direct answer to his insane subjugation of the folks of Georgia to his particular religious views.

Seriously, while I am personally totally DOWN with prayer/meditation/the power of thoughts and many other mystic and spiritual conjurations, I am totally NOT DOWN with the Governor of a state (i.e. public office, people!) leading an entire state in prayer to HIS god under his terms in order to save him from a boatload (he wishes he had enough water to float this particular boat) of BAD political decisions regarding water CONSERVATION and good STEWARDSHIP. The drought is not an act of an avenging god, it is poor management of our water supply and our mother earth overall. Jeesh! You can't just pray your way out of suffering the consequences of being assholes. Let's change our policies and practices and stop bartering in religion.

I am thankful for the rain, but I am not giving Sonny or his god credit (at least not directly).

4. I am thankful for this blog post because it is SO RIGHT ON!

5. I am thankful for the most perfect breakfast ever:

A breakfast like this can smooth over even the most insane moments of GIANT ROCKS, insane Governors and other things that go bump in the night (and day).

The only other breakfast that even comes close to this level of perfection is the chocolate chip pancakes made by a friend of mine far away. But I only get those about every four years, so I will have to cede best breakfast victory to Nutella on croissants and perfect french-press coffee.

The kids feel the same way.

6. And, finally, I am ever so thankful that we have a new family member. Really.

He is sweet and mellow (so far) and potty trained and super adorable. Meet Tuxedo, the Wonder Cat.

Tux came to us from a friend who travels quite extensively and wanted Tuxey to have a bit more attention. So far, he is surviving the steep levels of attention that come with living in my house (read: with three children). He is mostly confined to my bedroom and bathroom, which is fine with him for now.

Tux seems to like the children but is less than enthused by the joyous attention visited upon him by Doodle the Teenage Dufus Hound, who would like to lick Tux everywhere and potentially carry him around on her back like a small prince.

Doodle has moved into the awkward teenage stage of puppyhood, in which she is halfway to ginormous and none of her limbs fit properly and she is just smart enough to know when people are displeased and wants desperately to "be a good dog" but has no clue how to go about it. So she sidles and cowers and wags and bounces and generally acts like the biggest spazz on the face of dogness until she is petted and assured that she is, in actuality, a good dog.

So, when Tux utters the Deep and Dark Growl of Dog Disapproval, Doodle cowers convincingly and wags her tail in fruitless efforts to convey her good-dogness until a hurricane wind threatens to blow us all away.

But, it's only been 24 hours. I'm sure Tux will wallop Doodle something fierce pretty soon, and since Tux is in fact, fully clawed, this is certain to convince Doodle that the Nice Kitty is not to be F-ed with and she will go back to sucking up to me and Hubby as usual.

We do dole out the food, after all.

Friday, November 02, 2007


Life keeps moving along, whether I'm wordless (as far as this blog goes) or not. My three little sprouts keep growing, both literally (see above) and figuratively. The kids are such a challenge and such a treat. I forget that some of the smallest silly things can be the most valuable to you, my loyal readers (if anyone is left). So, here's a few moments from the last month.

Gabe began his latest opus: A Sponge Bob/Star Wars Comic Book entitled, Sponge Bob Star Wars: Episode One: The Plankton Menace. Sadly, his title page artwork (featured above) was marred by his smallest sister and an errant purple marker. He is still busily working on the rest of the feature.

Gabe has been enjoying Scouting (crazy politics aside) and Hubby may be enjoying it even more. Except for the Insanely Long Popcorn Hoopla Sales Extravaganza and Brainwashing Initiation. (Hey, thanks for buying our popcorn, gang!) Soon Gabe will be able to put on his neckerchief (Hello, another crazy Scouting thing!) and all that and then he'll be bored of it and we can do soccer or something. But it's fun right now. Or so they say.

Hubby and I had a swanky weekend in Midtown (that's the COOL, ultra hip, you-WISH-you were-sleek-enough-to-reside-here part of Atlanta for you non-locals) at our friend's new posh pad (Where Fifty Cent, "Fiddy" to the uber-hip, resides in the same high rise). And we drank some fancy drinks and I wore really high red heels and was unbelievably elegant while moderately drunk, as evidenced in this photo. Seriously. I totally didn't have to attempt to walk back to my friend's Condo of Coolness in my bare feet and hail the world's most overpriced cab ride. Not me. That was some other tipsy chick carrying saucy red heels.

In more plant related news (I seem to have developed a fondness for horticulture), my flowering basil plant has grown roots through the bottom of the pot and has flourished in the red clay of my front yard, despite the drought. It has become a happy home for a bee-zillion (hee, get it?) bees and one ginormously huge and furry spider. I clearly do not need to live within goosing distance of "Fiddy" to be incredibly hip. Or nifty. Or home to horticulture and small fuzzy creatures.

And of course, there was Halloween. Quin was a princess (shocker!) but told me that next year she would like to be scary. She wants to be a "dead bride" like Corpse Bride. Cool.

And now that the costume struggle is over, the great Candy Doling Struggle begins, whereby the kids beg for a piece of candy every ten minutes and I cajole them to do other things and bribe their cooperative behavior with candy promises. The only difference this year is I have only eaten three pieces of their candy (watching my girlish figure and all) and really would like the horrible temptation of evil SWEET SWEET sugar out of my house as quickly as possible, so I am tempted to let them just gobble it all up, throw up and get it over with. What do you think? It's a valid plan, right?

Ribh Wallis was also a princess and finally caught on to this whole Trick or Treating thing with reckless abandon. Until my friend's terrifying Wolfman costume blew her brain out (think of your worst fear and amplify it to a two-year-old's perspective...FREAKED OUT doesn't really cover it) and she covered her eyes, crawled in her stroller and more or less forced herself to fall asleep. Poor thing. But she still has tons of candy.

Gabe was Anakin Skywalker. Again. For a creative kid, he is pretty predictable when it comes to his costuming. Tonight, he is writing a love letter (!!) to his girlfriend (!!!!) in his diary. He showed it to me. He even drew a picture involving hearts!

And that's what's been sprouting around my life.