Love Comes Softly, or Sometimes It Hits You on The Head With a Laundry Basket

Yesterday we drove the kids up into Wisconsin to meet up with Hubby's folks who are taking the big kids for a week. We had just enough time for a quick meal and a tiny birthday party and then Hubby and I had to turn around and head back to Iowa so Hubby could catch his plane back to Atlanta.

Poor Hubby. It was such a quick weekend and half of it spent in the car. Our lives are so unpredictable right now and yet chock full of responsibilities and commitments that cannot be laid aside. Hubby was reduced to tears as he kissed and hugged the kids goodbye. It will likely be four or five weeks before he sees us again.

The kids are always so terribly thrilled to see him. When we picked him up at the airport on Friday afternoon, Quinlan was so excited that she burst into tears at the sight of him. He works so hard to fill the tight weekends with quality time bonding with his kids. He snuggles Quin down for every nap (and then takes one himself) and spends time doing whatever Gabe wants including helping him solve his Scooby Doo computer games, which takes hours. Boring hours. Overall, he is seldom seen without one or both children draped across his body while smearing food and kisses on his clothes and face. It really is the sweetest thing.

The irony is that when I met Hubby, he told me point blank that he wasn't really interested in having children. Our first date didn't go well. We had gone out to eat at Perkins (cheap diner) and when we sat down, Hubby grabbed a newspaper and proceeded to read it while we waited for our food. I was stung by this rudeness but drew him into conversation anyway (because I can, frankly, converse with a post if needed). Within this conversation he told me that kids made him somewhat uncomfortable and he doubted he would ever have any of his own. Needless to say, I was not impressed with him as date material, much less relationship material at that moment.

Now, in his defense, we were in our early twenties. We were just beginning to really enjoy our independence from our families and find our true path in the world. I should also confess that I have also been known (in my teens) to make rash statement about how I would never have kids. In fact I think I could be quoted as stating: "I'm never going to have kids. I think I will have my tubes tied when I turn 18!" (Ummm. Dumbass, meet your three children.)

I'm really not sure what Hubby did to convince me to continue to go out with him because when he made his no kids for me statement. I remember thinking quite clearly, well then obviously this won't be a long term relationship, because I had figured out by this time that I did want to have a family eventually. But I agreed to date him, warning him that it was only a summer fling for me, and that when I returned to Madison in the fall, the relationship would be over. We worked in a restaurant together and we spent pretty much every single day together either working or just hanging out for the rest of the summer. And we just had such a great time together. He not only got me but seemed to think I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. He wore my resistance down with his humor and appreciation of my wackiness, and his unswerving devotion to me. I do however remember the exact moment I figured out what a great dad he would be, even if he didn't know it himself.

I also worked in a Laundromat that summer. Hubby liked to do his laundry during my shift so we could hang out. As Hubby was exiting the building with a heaped basket of clean, folded laundry, he opened the door into two small children who could not be seen below the sightline of the small window in the door. The kids were not hurt, but were knocked down and one began to cry. He quickly and instinctively dropped his carefully folded laundry and began comforting the kids. He even picked up the littlest one and brushed her off and soothed her without any awkwardness or fanfare. He wasn't looking around for me or even the children's parent to intervene, but just taking care of the situation with perfect "daddy-ease".

I watched all this take place through a picture window which opened onto the parking lot near my desk. He didn't know I could see and didn't even think to tell me about the incident until later. But my heart grew about a foot that day (picture the Grinch here) as I realized that this guy, who was so perfect in every way except his self proclaimed awkwardness with children, was just a Daddy waiting to happen. His ability to nurture others was evident in so many aspects of his personality, but this incident brought it out into the open in front of me.

Before we got engaged, a little over one month after the laundry incident, we had several discussions about children. He confessed that kids intimidated him and that he couldn't imagine wanting to have kids with anyone before he met me. (All together now, awwwww! We were already sleeping together so he didn't even say it to get lucky.) We agreed that we weren't going to be ready to be parents for quite a while but we both sheltered a clear image of how important parenting and family were to our future.

Our Gabriel was born seven years later. Hubby was ready and took to fatherhood like an old pro and has never looked back. And I will never forget the day he caused me to fall in love with him, all because he ran over some children with his laundry basket.