Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Post Wherein All Chaos In the Universe Rests With Me


Seriously, Chaos Alert Levels have been upgraded to not just RED but Super Double FIREY BURNING RED around here lately. Hence, the utter lack of blog updates or photos to answer your pleas for assurance that we all remain hearty and hale in Georgia. Avert your eyes from the Firey Red Alerted Chaos contained within!

I have been traveling. A LOT. Like pretty much part of every week and most every weekend. That perpetual joy has been peppered with the viral spore of a thousand airports and a thousand school children compounded by lack of sleep and poor spinal hygiene which as we all knows equals a crappy immune system and extreme susceptibility to a full rolling ague from each viral invader and for each family member. Sweet!

But lo! They are still cute! See below:

Gabe is Anakin Skywalker. Ribh is a chicken. Quin is a princess.

The Run Down:

Ribh Wallis: Is pretty mad at me for being gone all the time. Whilst I am gone and she is in the loving care of her father, she is an Angel Child. When I return home she releases The Demons of 1000 Angry and Outraged Moments of Abandonment and Outrage and punishes me with the Shrieking and Freaking Tantrums to End All Life on Earth including head thumping, clawing, and the stubborn endurance of a triathelete. It's pretty impressive. And ever so fun. It does not come with an off switch. Seriously.

Quinlan: Will only wear dresses. Especially a somewhat oversized tank top (size 4/5) that wears like a minidress and is pink, which she has taken into her head is a "ballerina dress" and therefore will drop trow the moment she arrives home and will pull said "dress" out of the bottom of a clothes hamper (dirty) to wear until FORCED to wear something else. She also talks incessantly which is alternatingly adorable and will make you want to gouge your ears out. Like this:


(two second pause)



"Yesterday, I went pee in the potty!"




"The sky is blue!"



"Yes, Quin! What?"

"My doll is wearing a dress."

And so on.

Gabe: Is obsessed with Star Wars and Captain Underpants. In his parent teacher conference, I was told that he routinely spaces off for a half hour at a time during school periods set aside to work independently. Then, when just five minutes remain to finish the given assignment (a math worksheet, writing projects, etc.), he busts through a half hour's work (sloppily) and turns in his completed assignment. And it's usually accurate. So, his teacher and I have come up with a plan to encourage him to do his work FIRST (rather than counting the fibers in the carpet) and then he can earn STICKERS by doing MORE WORK and then if he earns enough stickers he gets a new Captain Underpants book at week end. Whee! Hey, it's working!

Hubby: Ran another marathon and kicked butt as usual. Now he is immediately back in training for the next one in March. He has enlisted a group of students to train with him, so that's a bit more fun. At least, as much fun as a 26.2 mile run can be. Hubby should ALSO be up for SAINTHOOD for the lengthy solo parenting excursions while I was away and especially because the house never fell down ONCE! Pretty impressive is it not?

Me: Ummm. I'm Nuts. Any questions? Hey, and remember all that stuff I told you about the kids and how exasperating they are? I am told by Hubby, my mother, and pretty much anyone who knows me, that each and EVERY ONE of their exasperating habits signals a clear and direct genetic link to the WOMAN WHO SPAWNED each child.

And finally, THE SADNESS: Our Esste Dog, The Boober Hound, died on October 30th. She was almost 12. She was doing quite poorly for the last month. She had stopped eating and was so emaciated and weak that she could barely greet us with a tail thump. I still miss her daily and find myself reaching down to pat her phantom head and stroke her ghostly ears. Plus, I now actually have to clean the spilled food off the kitchen floor. So, for those of you who knew her, take a moment to think fondly of the Best Houndy Who Ever Was Ridden By Three Children. This, honestly, has been quite hard on us. Sniff. She was such a Good Girl.