Babies Babies Babies

On Wednesday, my friend J called me to tell me that she had her baby on Monday! Whooohoo! But then the plot thickened.

Her family has a history of cleft palate and her newborn son (her third child) was born with a cleft palate. Because the baby was born at home (before the midwife could arrive) they decided (reasonably) to transport to the hospital a few hours after the birth, knowing that a child with one congenital anomaly runs a higher statistical risk of having additional anomalies.

Just before transporting, their midwife informed them that she had become recently embroiled in a legal situation due to complications from a previous birth and could not go with them to the hospital. Furthermore, she asked that they not mention her name or even mention that they had used a midwife because that would further complicate her ongoing legal situation.

So they went to the hospital, were admitted through ER even though no emergent situation was unfolding, because the hospital had no other "easy" way to deal with them. They were require to admit their child to the NICU unit since labor and delivery would only accept them if J was *in labor*. So, their new son, who was doing just fine, was put in a little plastic box and hooked up to a bunch of tubes, because that is what they do in NICU.

The hospital folk ran a bunch of tests to ascertain that there were no other defects, like a heart murmur or occult spina bifida etc. The baby is fine. But his blood glucose was a little low. (Imagine that! in a new born who is just 6 hours old and has been through all of that and not fed. Insert sarcasm here) So they fed him a little formula and his blood glucose came right up, but not quite to the number they have dubbed *normal*, so they insisted on keeping him overnight "for observation".

The brought in numerous "experts" to meet with the parents. Five doctors told J that while her desire attempt to nurse was laudable, that nursing was simply impossible and that she would be wasting her time trying. A speech therapist told her that she should talk to her baby "as if he were a normal little boy." Nice that! WTF! They were told when the surgeries could be done, given the special nipple to feed him with, and taught how to use it. J and her husband already knew much of this due to J's family history of this defect. J's husband is a chiropractor and perfectly cognizant of what all the test and parameters are, even though the hospital folk insisted on explaining painstakingly to them what issues they were concerned about and why. Explaining as if they were 10 year olds rather than experienced parents of 3 who have advanced degrees in the health care field. Because, chiropractor don't go to medical school and therefore don't understand. And because J and her husband, R, didn't just roll over on their backs with their tails between their legs over every recommendation given them by the hospital folk.

So, in the morning, although every routine test had returned to normal parameters, the hospital recommended that the baby stay another day, "for observation". J and R decided (well within their legal rights) to take their baby home "against medical advice". A follow up appointment was scheduled for them by the hospital, 2 days hence. After being home two days, they called the hospital to inquire exactly when that appointment was. The hospital could not find the appointment. The hospital called that afternoon confirming that they had missed the appointment which had been scheduled for that morning and set up a new appointment for the next day.

Then DHS (Department of Health Services) called. And this, people, is where I move from highly irritated to "my f-ing blood is f-ing boiling now!" DHS was "concerned for the welfare of this child" because the parents had removed him from the hospital against medical advice, had failed to appear and his first post natal appointment and had attempted to deliver him at home (as far as they knew) without the use of a midwife or any other expert.

I have heard many times that people who work for DHS are well intentioned if not noble people who just want to help children with crazy negligent parents. That they must "investigate" all claims and that they only continue to focus on the family when it is clear that the parents are behaving in a negligent manner. So, everything will be fine for my friend J, right? J and R explained the whole situation, including the mixup with the scheduled appointment. The DHS folk said, Whatever. We will be doing a home visit and watching you every week until we are satisfied that this child will be properly cared for (by their criteria).

My friends and their tiny baby are being held hostage (with the looming unspoken threat that DHS can remove not only their newborn, but also their other two children) to the guidelines of a failed system! They must capitulate to whatever the medical establishment recommends or risk having him taken away! They must follow the advice and requirements of a system (I'm talking about "medical science" here, people) that continues to fail not only to "cure" the problems of our nation, but actually has become the number one cause of death in the US every year! Medical science is NOT GOD! They make mistakes (and costly ones at that) all the time. They kill people (784,000 per year) with their surgeries, and their properly prescribed drugs, and their insane notions about what health is and where health comes from. And heaven forbid that any educated and informed person not bow to the altar of their authority!

I am so pissed off for my friends. I am not afraid that their child will be killed by the recommendations of the hospital folk. But I am enraged that our (legal and health) system is so deeply flawed as to punish and stress and torment any who disagree with the F-ing authority of a bullshit system and illogical health paradigm which have proven themselves ineffective by their own standards so many times, even a third grader would declare: "Let's try something new. This shit ain't working!" And this in a country that uses the word "Freedom" as a battlecry of all that is right and good supposedly about itself.







Sigh.






And then I got a call yesterday afternoon. A different friend's partner called to tell me that they had just had their first baby, at home, unassisted as planned! The baby is doing great! The mama is doing great! They just had a couple of questions about cord care and post-natal procedure. But left alone in their own apartment, with no hovering "helpers" and no interfering medical folks and cautionary procedures, their first child quietly and simply was born into his mother's and father's hands.

I stopped in, at their request, yesterday afternoon to check the baby's spine and overall health. I was so honored at their trust and faith in me to help them evaluate their precious boy. They knew instinctively that he was okay, but since they know me well and know that I have lots of experience with this type of thing, they asked me to just run through the basic parameters of a new baby check. I think they just wanted to share their joy a little bit.

The family was so peaceful, mama snuggled in bed with her baby's skin in full contact with her own, his tiny head nestled against her breast, her hand cupping his body and stroking his soft warm flesh. Instictively, she smoothed his head in a pattern that encouraged the appropriate remolding of his cranial bones. The father proudly showed me the placenta so we could examine it for defect or clots. He was laughing and beaming and exclaiming over his son's hands (future chiropractor) as they closed around his own.

They had decided to hold off on calling family and friends until after I came by and after they were a little more settled into their new experience as parents. They were observing a classic "babymoon" with minimal visitors or interference to their bonding as their own little family for the first week. And they were so calm and collected and bonded, already, as a brand new, 3 hour old family. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this.

This is what birth can be, for those who value such a thing. This is what is possible for those who have confidence in the human body and it's vast ability and for those who are willing to give the power of that body more than lip service. This bold "new" (ha! How do we think our ancestors got here?) paradigm not only works, but is so valuable and so precious, that few even dare to speak of it. And that must change.

We, as a culture, need to really look at the art, and the science and the philosophy of the "experts" that we have currently elevated to the status of Gods. While they are good and well meaning people, the system and the paradigm of western medicine is failing in epic proportions. The US is ranked 28th (in 1999, and it keeps declining) of industrialized nations for birth safety and infant mortality. The richest and "smartest" nation in the world, the US, is more than half way down the nations list of success in birth. But we let them dictate, to people like my friend J, how she MUST care for her newborn child, because he has a mild anomaly. And while the medical folk will offer valuable service, in their ability to correct this little boy's defect and help him to appear more like everyone else, this should be all done when and how his parent's decide it be done, without pressure or threatening persuasion.

But all over this nation, and all over the world, loving, educated, bold parents buck the system and birth at home, with faith and trust that they can do it. They know that their bodies were perfectly designed for procreation. They know that the more well meaning people who try to manage and aid their birth, the more complications will arise. These parents have incredible strength and trust and knowledge of what birth can be. These parents will not hesitate to use western medicine's emergency services if a rare complication were to arise. They are knowledgable as to what to do to handle the myriad possibilities within birth. They hire midwives and doulas, they birth alone or with trusted family members, but ultimately, they birth on their own terms, and under the full power of their own intimate connection with what is right for their bodies and their families.

It is this notion of Empowered Birth that keeps my faith in the birth community alive. We must foster this notion, teach this notion, workshop this notion, and change the world, one baby at a time.