Tuesday, June 14, 2005

It's official: we're moving again

While I was in Eau Claire last weekend for my sister's baby shower, Brian flew down to Atlanta for his final interview. And, he got the job. And they want him to start in a week. He gave his two weeks notice on Monday and steeled himself for the quite possible *You Can Just Leave Right Now* speech from the administration at his current job, but it didn't happen. So he will be here for two weeks. He will leave next Sunday. Wow.

His students are coming over this weekend for a farewell party, since many of them are leaving for break or clinic abroad and he will be looong gone by the time they get back in July. He is planning some quality "family time" between now and then. But he will be gone before I know it and I am wondering how I am going to say goodbye. When and what is our farewell party?

I remember when we were separated during the period when I was still in school and he began practicing in Wisconsin. Each goodbye, although we saw each other at least every three or four weeks, seemed so painful and heartbreaking. Over time we became accustomed to our long distance status and I no longer cried with every goodbye, but still, the fierceness of my misery without him comes back to me now.

I keep talking about how tough it is going to be taking care of three kids under the age of five as a *single parent* and how I will go crazy with parenting alone, but really, deep down, I just feel so sad for me. Because I will be lonely and uncertain and without my touchstone of sanity and strength, him. I'm just gonna miss his himness so much.

I know we will talk on the phone multiple times every day, just like we do now. I know he will fly here or we will visit there every three or four weeks at the very least. I know this seperation will be short-lived and we will likely be reunited before the summer is over. I know that it will all be okay. But just for now, I am going to let myself feel very sad (well, probably a few more times but I promise I won't dwell on it).

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