Thursday, June 16, 2005

Bungalow For Sale

I staged the house for these schmancy photos so someone will snatch up my house real quick. The instructions from the web hosting group we are selling from suggested that I make the house "look like it stepped out of the pages of a decorating magazine" and would "invite a prospective buyer into every room". Isn't that the look I go for every day anyway?

I got all the toys and dishes and paperwork out of the six photos I am allowed to submit, but where am I gonna put that stuff when the prospective buyers come to see the house in person? They will know something is afoot when they open closets to reveal all the crap I stashed in there in order to make the house appear inviting. Then they will see that the neatly sliced fruit on the kitchen counter (seen in every house magazine) have little bite marks where some child or animal tried to nibble a taste before I shooed them out of the kitchen. They will see the boxes upon boxes of clothes and toys under the beds and in the basement. They will see my dirty laundry. Hopefully it will be neatly lying in the laundry basket, but still! Gasp! They will realize that I am a mother to three small children who works part time and whose husband has moved to another state.

They will then offer me $25 K less for the house than I am asking for it because they will be able to not just smell, but taste my desperation. And I will say, "Yes! I'll take it! Just free me from this torment!"

I think I need to invest in storage. Or a maid. Help!


Kris said...

Wow! Never seen your house look so good!! J/K
So you reel them in to come look, and then you tie them up in the basement until they agree to pay you 10K over your asking price. Because, dangit, you took down that wallpaper in the bathroom!

Linda said...

How about designating the least important room as a storage room and box up all non-essentials?