The Nursing Strike has waned, with only brief interludes of crying, picketing and so on. Poor baby now has a nasty cough which wakes her (and me and Hubby) about every half hour all night long. Then occasionally she will cough so hard it causes her to vomit into my snuggly bed. Yummy!
In happier news, Banana Girl has invented a new mommy catchphrase which exactly sums up the frustration bordering on violence moms feel toward their offspring on occasion (Yes! We all feel this way sometimes! It's okay. It is the hallmark of a real Mama. Just own it and move on.)
Honey Girl: "Mama? Agua? Mama! Mama! Mama! Agua!" (While forcing a Dora sippy cup upon Banana for no discernible reason whilst Banana is fully in the throes of an early morning "Dammit, I Really didn't Feel Like Getting Up Yet, Much Less Have You Dribble Water All Over My Pajamas" moment.)
Banana Girl: "Child! I want to squish your brains!" (with squeezing hand gesture)
Me: Bwaa Ha ha ha ha!
Try it! It feels good! It is on point emotionally without having the realistic possibilities of other common threats (I could just choke you etc...). In fact, it is just silly enough to snap a mommy back to reality and help her see how ludicrous her epic battle of reasoning with toddlers can be. So, give in, throw out a fabulous but impossible threat and get on with your day.
I'm Going To Squeeze Your Brains!
I'm telling you, it's sweeping the nation!